Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
