i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
