We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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