I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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