Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize