So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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