After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
