You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
its liver damage thursday
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
