Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Watching her eat just hurts me
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
