and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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