Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
