Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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