she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
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I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
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Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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