Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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