i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
