Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
