you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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