where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
