I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
