My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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