and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
