i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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