I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
