This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
We named our party play list daddy issues
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
