Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
