You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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