yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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