I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
