Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
