yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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