Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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