Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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