oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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