Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
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all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
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He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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