Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Reggie can tackle my bush.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
sex in a hospital.. check
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
