So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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