We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
