I want to walk on stilts...naked
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
