Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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