So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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