If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
