i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
