sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
two words: eviction party
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Randomize
