on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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