You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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