I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
We have so much sex to catch up on
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
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