I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it