Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.