Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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