You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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