Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize