I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
