Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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