i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
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if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
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You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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