Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
