I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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