every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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